Frank Drebin Strikes Again

Highlight of last nights Jazz game: One of the members of “Air Supply” sang the National Anthem and he SLAUGHTERED it. I don’t just mean that he sang it poorly. I mean that, even though he had the lyrics written on his hand or on a card (couldn't tell) he still managed to: 1) fumble all over words. 2) Just swap out words with new words and 3) had to start over at one point.It was awesome, yet painfully embarassing for all involved. I wanted to die a little bit, but couldn't stop giggling.

Where is Maurice Cheeks when you need him?

Oh, and the Jazz won!

I heart basketball

Playoff season is here, and I have watched more games than I care to admit. I’ve already had it with Barkley (aka Windbag) and I can’t wait for him to just go away. So, this has given me some time to become a little sentimental and think about why I am so rabid about basketball. I know my family always watched basketball, but I don’t it really caught on to me until I was 15 or 16.

My brother came home from his mission on the same day as a playoff game here in the Delta Center. Naturally, we were glad he was home. My 2 brother’s missions had overlapped by 4 or 5 months, and we hadn’t all been together in almost 4 years. That night, we got to the game embarrassingly early, as my parent’s seem to still like to do, so they could “enjoy the atmosphere”. Well, for this evening the “atmosphere” included my very own humiliation. They had some stage set up, and music playing, and the next thing I knew, some giant purple dinosaur had grabbed my hands and pulled me up on this stage with him and was attempting every mascot trick he knew to make me dance with him. I was mortified. Some would call this assault. My parents called it the funniest thing they have ever seen and enjoyed. They loved it so much, and their cheering and grinning from ear to ear only added to my humiliation. All teenage disgruntled behavior aside, I loved it too. I saw my two parents’, who had had more than their share of problems for the years preceding, and they were having so much fun. That night, we all had fun. I don’t remember who we played, or if we even won….but I remember being so happy. Was it naive of me to believe that one night of basketball can take away real world problems and make you happy? Probably…but I still see it that way. I still see my parent’s, who still get just as excited to go to games, as they did when I was a kid. It is the one thing they do together, that they truly enjoy – besides watch “American Idol”.

Hopefully, ten years from tonight I won’t remember that the Rockets most likely killed us out of this series…I will remember the fun season Matt and I have had with our season tickets. And I am glad my family will be there tonight as well. In fact, my parent’s will probably be one of the first people there. Tonight though, if any purple dinosaur or any creepy mascot like thing comes near me…I am not suffering any more “mascot assault” just to put a smile on my families face. They are on their own.

case closed part II

I am pleased to announce that the orange extension cord has been gone for a few days now. (Coincidentally, the same day I left for work and saw three Murray City Power trucks parked not far from my apartment.) Related? Not sure, don't care. (Okay! Maybe I care a little bit still!) And, when I came home from the gym last night, I could see florescent lights coming from inside, but no other "regular" lights. Perhaps the "special plant:" growing theory isn't that far off.

case closed

Tonight I went with my friend to see Disturbia. For some reason, we thought it was a good idea, for two people, who both live alone, to go see this movie. We survived, it was suspenseful and creepy, but I think I will sleep okay tonight. However, I learned a valuable lesson about spying on my neighbors and I highly recommend that my mother go see it right away. So, in an attempt to not find myself killed, I have the following to say to my neighbor:

Dear Pirate Neighbor,

I am aware that you have either been stealing my electricity, or using the outdoor outlet that costs me nothing for some strange and unidentified reason. I realize this. I used to be concerned. I want you to know that I do not care what you are doing, why, or who else is involved. Please continue to take electricity...take all you need. If you would like, you may plug more orange extension cords right from my apt. In fact, I have one that is available close to the front door that you are welcome to. It is one of those that the light switch needs to be turned on for them to work. I will leave that switch on, so as to never inconvenience you. I don't even need to know why your minivan only has front seats....doesn't even bother me. I haven't even thought about it in weeks. Feel free to continue to be as creepy and elusive as you feel you need to be, and I will continue to look the other way and be oblivious to the fact that you may have caused a 4 hour power outage a few weeks back. When I walk by, I will no longer take stock as to what is on your balcony, and ponder on the fact that I have NEVER seen a light on in your apt. Your business is just that - your business.

Thanks for being my neighbor, and I hope that we can continue this relationship of complete ignorance for years to come.

~Your anonymous neighbor and friend.

Why God invented Gameboys

So, last night I was just settling in to watch the NCAA Championship game when I heard my neighbor leaving…Vincent always runs to the door when he is out there, I believe that he is now as fascinated as I am. About 2 minutes after he left, the power went out. Of course, I instantly blamed him. I waited about 5 minutes, and then decided to head out to investigate. I determined that it was only two buildings that I could see that were without power…which further supports the idea that “The Pirate” had finally blown something in there. Long story short: it came on twice for a few minutes before it returned for good at 11:05. When it went off after each short interval, it literally went off with a “bang”. There was a loud popping sound that scared the hell out of me each time. The box that the power guys were working on was right beneath my balcony. I asked them what the loud sound was and they said, “That’s just us blowing fuses”. Ok. Fine, I guess. I wanted to have them come check the neighbor’s electricity setup…but never dared.

The real tragedy of the night = 4 hours of no “cooked” dinner, TV, Wow or even reading. Yes, I know I can read by candlelight…but the book I am reading now is scary and that is the last thing you want to be reading when your power is out. I could have left at any point in the night…but I was convinced that they were going to somehow trace the whole problem back to my neighbor…and I wanted to be there when they did. I found a good substitute for TV to be staring out your window while eating chex mix. Almost didn’t even notice anything was different until it got dark. Then, I once again discovered the beautiful majesty of the Gameboy. What would I be without that gameboy? Tetris, Dr. Mario, Risk and Mappy…they got me through the long, long night. Meanwhile, it appears my neighbor may have gotten away with it this time…