not Sunday again....

You know that sick feeling you get in your stomach on Sunday evening about 6:00 that tells you “Oh no…I have to go to work tomorrow”. Well, I have the feeling on a Friday at 2:00. It is telling me, “Oh no…Sunday is coming…which means you will have to work Monday again”.

I didn’t think it was possible to dread the weekend.

not much to say...

I've noticed I haven't had much to write about - Apparently, during the NBA off season, my life sort of shuts down. Not to mention I don't have the Pirate, or his antics to keep me going. You would think being knee deep in wedding plans and condo renovations would be plenty to keep be going....but I think that I am just getting tired.

For example: today, I was sitting in a meeting today, and one of my "favorite" (aka - "quite frankly") co workers went on a rant. The kind of rant that would usually make my head spin, and send me into some sort of frenzy that would keep my adrenaline going all day. Instead - I just sat there. I couldn't even find the energy to get worked up. It was the strangest feeling ever....calm. This is what "sane" people feel like day to day. It is a very scary day when even Datamark can't get me fired up! Has this place officially taken the last of my soul?!

happy anniversary!

Three years ago today Matt and I went out on our first date! Coincidentally, I got to go today to pick up the disk from our photographer of our engagement pictures. So, in celebration of today's anniversary, here is possibly the most ill-conceived engagement picture ever...

Arm wrestling in front of two gravestones?!










In my photographers defense, I think the majority of them turned out much better. I honestly cannot figure out what happened above. Were we not paying attention? Did she tell us to do that? Why are their gravestones? Does it look like Matt is trying to break my arm to anyone else? Had we forgotten what we were there for?

Here a few that turned out better:

Fran, Tiff and Billy's Dallas Reunion Tour '07

Fran and I finally returned to the place we met over 10 years ago while serving in the Texas Dallas Mission...where we met for the first time in a bathroom of some church...where Fran's first impression of me was that I was "snobby". Nice. Everyone knows I prefer, "smug". At any rate, this time we were not plagued by those restrictive "mission rules"...we were free to do whatever we pleased. Yes. This time, we would eat at Medieval Times, and no one could stop us!!!

We did get a rough start. On the flight out I sat next to a "nose picker", the landing was so rough that people actually screamed, and they lost our luggage. Somehow, things did improve. We stayed with my friend Teri and pretty much ran and ate from the moment we got there until we left. That is when we were not fighting off heat stroke...which by the way was every bit as bad as I remembered it...if not worse. Here are some photo highlights of the excursion:


I don't know how I took this picture with chicken in both of my hands!





What would a trip to Texas be without a Longhorn siting.








Billy enjoying Dallas from the top of Reunion Tower.









Aliyah enjoying the game, apparently unaware that it was so hot and humid that people should not be outdoors.








Bonham, TX. 10 years ago, this town was a hellish little speck on the map. Today: they are practically putting in a light rail system. Who knew?







Fort Worth....Fran in what appears to be Stage 3 of heat stroke.

it was in fact electrifying

Okay - I am finally going to give my playoff wrap up. All in all, the games were a lot of fun, and it was exciting that it went on as long as it did. These games however, were not for kids. There were a lot of court side antics that need to be discussed, things you don't see when Steve Kerr is covering the game. (okay, i really mean "upper bowl antics")

Houston Series -

• This one started out with one of the most embarrassing national anthems ever, as discussed in previous post.
• Until the last game of the San Antonio series, this one also fostered the most hostile crowd I have ever seen. Possibly the first and last time I had heard the chant "Break you leg McGrady, break your leg!"
• Game 2: someone 3 rows in front of us actually THREW UP on the ground, distracting us for quite some time during the inevitable smell, cleanup, and for some reason the women behind me practically asking me to describe the vomit to her.

Golden State Series -

• This series seemed to be marked by increased food consumption. We have never seen people buy and eat so many pretzels, nachos, hot dogs, popcorn, beer, ice cream. Larry must have been rolling in cash after this series. We believe the guys in front of us in one game, actually purchased $100 of food each. I missed an entire quarter trying to add up the amount spent. One of these guys precious pretzels broke in half, and one half fell on the stairs during his walk in. In an Oscar winning performance, he raised his fist to the sky and yelled, "NO!"
• A goofy guy 2 rows in front of us used his old school white Jazz windbreaker as a rally towel, and looked really funny doing it. He kept yelling, "Welcome to the House of Pain" and I think he must have been referring to our pain.
• Of course this series had the infamous Fisher shows up late and the crowd goes ballistic moment. It was memorable, and it was hard not to get sucked up into it, although, some of us knew it was a bad match up, and that maybe he should have warmed up for a second.

San Antonio Series -

• The first home game of this series was really wild and out of control in there. There is a man that sits 3 rows in front of us on the end and he is 81 years old with 3 broken ribs. (How I know all of this is not important right now). He looks kind of like Mickey from Rocky, but is a snazzier dresser. He always has on baggy cargo shorts and Vans. He is generally in a altercation with this guy several rows in front of him that likes to stand, and the poor old guy can't stand very easily due to his broken ribs. Okay, so the point of this is that a yelling match broke out between the annoying standing guy, and some guy across the row. I heard a lot of f words, and figured out it had to do with the old guy, but I didn't know what he had done. He was actually sitting there looking very innocent. Annoying standing guy went and got the ushers, who took the old guy out. Then, they came in to question someone else. Eventually, he came back, with a white "warning card", which he promptly threw onto the ground for the usher to see how little he cared about it. After more piecing together, we think the old guy threw something at the annoying standing guy.
• My point is this: how crazy does a game get, when an 81 year old that can't walk without the railing gets issued a warning?
• A guy in the 6th row got hit by fireworks during the player introductions.
• Women in front of me with creepy glasses that light up had a sign that read, "Bring on the Pisstons Spurs your threw" (I left her spelling and grammar just as it was)
• It is a proven fact, that air horns make Tim Duncan miss free throws 5 out of 6 times.
• No need to recount the crowd antics at the end of the 4th game, I think the news coverage did that fine.

Well, that is all i can remember now. For some reason, I think I probably spent as much time watching the crowd as I did the games!!

Frank Drebin Strikes Again

Highlight of last nights Jazz game: One of the members of “Air Supply” sang the National Anthem and he SLAUGHTERED it. I don’t just mean that he sang it poorly. I mean that, even though he had the lyrics written on his hand or on a card (couldn't tell) he still managed to: 1) fumble all over words. 2) Just swap out words with new words and 3) had to start over at one point.It was awesome, yet painfully embarassing for all involved. I wanted to die a little bit, but couldn't stop giggling.

Where is Maurice Cheeks when you need him?

Oh, and the Jazz won!

I heart basketball

Playoff season is here, and I have watched more games than I care to admit. I’ve already had it with Barkley (aka Windbag) and I can’t wait for him to just go away. So, this has given me some time to become a little sentimental and think about why I am so rabid about basketball. I know my family always watched basketball, but I don’t it really caught on to me until I was 15 or 16.

My brother came home from his mission on the same day as a playoff game here in the Delta Center. Naturally, we were glad he was home. My 2 brother’s missions had overlapped by 4 or 5 months, and we hadn’t all been together in almost 4 years. That night, we got to the game embarrassingly early, as my parent’s seem to still like to do, so they could “enjoy the atmosphere”. Well, for this evening the “atmosphere” included my very own humiliation. They had some stage set up, and music playing, and the next thing I knew, some giant purple dinosaur had grabbed my hands and pulled me up on this stage with him and was attempting every mascot trick he knew to make me dance with him. I was mortified. Some would call this assault. My parents called it the funniest thing they have ever seen and enjoyed. They loved it so much, and their cheering and grinning from ear to ear only added to my humiliation. All teenage disgruntled behavior aside, I loved it too. I saw my two parents’, who had had more than their share of problems for the years preceding, and they were having so much fun. That night, we all had fun. I don’t remember who we played, or if we even won….but I remember being so happy. Was it naive of me to believe that one night of basketball can take away real world problems and make you happy? Probably…but I still see it that way. I still see my parent’s, who still get just as excited to go to games, as they did when I was a kid. It is the one thing they do together, that they truly enjoy – besides watch “American Idol”.

Hopefully, ten years from tonight I won’t remember that the Rockets most likely killed us out of this series…I will remember the fun season Matt and I have had with our season tickets. And I am glad my family will be there tonight as well. In fact, my parent’s will probably be one of the first people there. Tonight though, if any purple dinosaur or any creepy mascot like thing comes near me…I am not suffering any more “mascot assault” just to put a smile on my families face. They are on their own.

case closed part II

I am pleased to announce that the orange extension cord has been gone for a few days now. (Coincidentally, the same day I left for work and saw three Murray City Power trucks parked not far from my apartment.) Related? Not sure, don't care. (Okay! Maybe I care a little bit still!) And, when I came home from the gym last night, I could see florescent lights coming from inside, but no other "regular" lights. Perhaps the "special plant:" growing theory isn't that far off.

case closed

Tonight I went with my friend to see Disturbia. For some reason, we thought it was a good idea, for two people, who both live alone, to go see this movie. We survived, it was suspenseful and creepy, but I think I will sleep okay tonight. However, I learned a valuable lesson about spying on my neighbors and I highly recommend that my mother go see it right away. So, in an attempt to not find myself killed, I have the following to say to my neighbor:

Dear Pirate Neighbor,

I am aware that you have either been stealing my electricity, or using the outdoor outlet that costs me nothing for some strange and unidentified reason. I realize this. I used to be concerned. I want you to know that I do not care what you are doing, why, or who else is involved. Please continue to take electricity...take all you need. If you would like, you may plug more orange extension cords right from my apt. In fact, I have one that is available close to the front door that you are welcome to. It is one of those that the light switch needs to be turned on for them to work. I will leave that switch on, so as to never inconvenience you. I don't even need to know why your minivan only has front seats....doesn't even bother me. I haven't even thought about it in weeks. Feel free to continue to be as creepy and elusive as you feel you need to be, and I will continue to look the other way and be oblivious to the fact that you may have caused a 4 hour power outage a few weeks back. When I walk by, I will no longer take stock as to what is on your balcony, and ponder on the fact that I have NEVER seen a light on in your apt. Your business is just that - your business.

Thanks for being my neighbor, and I hope that we can continue this relationship of complete ignorance for years to come.

~Your anonymous neighbor and friend.

Why God invented Gameboys

So, last night I was just settling in to watch the NCAA Championship game when I heard my neighbor leaving…Vincent always runs to the door when he is out there, I believe that he is now as fascinated as I am. About 2 minutes after he left, the power went out. Of course, I instantly blamed him. I waited about 5 minutes, and then decided to head out to investigate. I determined that it was only two buildings that I could see that were without power…which further supports the idea that “The Pirate” had finally blown something in there. Long story short: it came on twice for a few minutes before it returned for good at 11:05. When it went off after each short interval, it literally went off with a “bang”. There was a loud popping sound that scared the hell out of me each time. The box that the power guys were working on was right beneath my balcony. I asked them what the loud sound was and they said, “That’s just us blowing fuses”. Ok. Fine, I guess. I wanted to have them come check the neighbor’s electricity setup…but never dared.

The real tragedy of the night = 4 hours of no “cooked” dinner, TV, Wow or even reading. Yes, I know I can read by candlelight…but the book I am reading now is scary and that is the last thing you want to be reading when your power is out. I could have left at any point in the night…but I was convinced that they were going to somehow trace the whole problem back to my neighbor…and I wanted to be there when they did. I found a good substitute for TV to be staring out your window while eating chex mix. Almost didn’t even notice anything was different until it got dark. Then, I once again discovered the beautiful majesty of the Gameboy. What would I be without that gameboy? Tetris, Dr. Mario, Risk and Mappy…they got me through the long, long night. Meanwhile, it appears my neighbor may have gotten away with it this time…

the facts about electricity

The orange extension cord investigation is still going on. I am even more confused now then I was when this began. I noticed that his minivan has nothing but front seats…I thought that might be strange. The thing is, now, no matter how nice the “Pirate” is; I am going to be creeped out.

Here are the facts that I know:

1. The orange extension cord comes and goes. It appears that when he is home, it is plugged in. When he is not home, it is missing.
2. Last night after dark, while the cord was plugged in, I saw no obvious lights through the window, and could hear no sounds from a TV. I will point out, that for the almost year I have lived next to this guy, I don’t think I have ever heard a TV.
3. There are 10 electrical outlets in the apartments. That is 20 items that can be plugged in…and more should you so desire to use extension cords.
4. I have never actually seen, or heard the neighbor plugging in this extension cord…I can only point out that it goes under his door.

cause for concern?

My mother is that snoopy neighbor that every neighborhood has. She knows the comings and goings of all her neighbors, and will point out if a “strange” car has been parked for longer than she believes it should. She notices who comes home at 3:00am, and she is not afraid to mention it to the homeowner. As far as I can remember back, she has always been this way. I have tried my hardest not to become that person…and I feel like I have done okay. Living in an apartment complex is a “snoopy neighbor’s” dream. I may need my mom’s help with the next door neighbor.

I call him “the Pirate”. He is a very nice man, obviously, looks like a pirate. He has quite a bit of stuff on his balcony, and spends a lot of time “working” on his minivan in the parking lot. I believe he lives alone, but am not sure…he is actually very, very quiet. I only hear him when he comes home late at night, about the time I am settling in to watch COPS. My neighbor downstairs has filled me in on what she knows about him. She sad he works with his Mom and that he works at night and sleeps in the day. She also mentioned that he is really into crafts. Which explains the toll painted signs on his door, and wooden birdhouse arrangements next to his door.

He and I live at the top of the stairs, and we are the only two apartments there. He has to walk past my door, to get to his. This morning I noticed that he had plugged a big orange extension cord into the outdoor plug right by my front door. The cable then ran under my doormat, between our apartments and then right into his apartment with the door shut over it. I stared for several minutes trying to figure out what the hell could be going on. I went back into mine to count outlets. There are plenty in there. Here are the questions I know have:

• How many appliances could he have plugged in, that he can’t possibly use one of his own outlets?
• What could be so important to plug in that he has to run an extension cord outside?
• How dangerous would it be if I went ahead and unplugged it tonight when I get home?
• Am I paying for this electricity he is using?
• Should I be concerned?
• Where is my mom when I need her most?

Cops is the old Reno 911

Just when you think your TV watching habits could not become any more embarrassing than they already are.... I have now had to face a new TV addiction that I can’t explain or understand. Last night, about 12:45, it occurred to me that I was unable to fall asleep until I had watched the 12:30 RE-RUN OF COPS!!!

For the last 3 weeks I have been staying up most nights to watch, but it wasn’t until last night that I realized my day was not complete without it. What has happened in my life that I am unable to fall asleep without 30 minutes of bad hair, tank tops and crazy people from the early ‘90’s?

So, after I realized I had a problem last night, I tried to analyze just what it was about the show that was so good. It could be the time of night, but the episodes are so incredibly funny. I don’t remember watching them in the early ‘90’s and laughing as hard as I do now. In fact, I think they may have scared me a little bit. I didn’t see that kind of crime on the “hard streets” of Bountiful. All I can figure is that my love for Reno 911 made this change. After a few episodes of COPS, you realize that although the cops themselves are crazy exaggerated, the actual suspects and arrests are not. I mean, I have never seen a giant milkshake on COPS, but there is some REALLY GOOD material in there. How is this show not on more?!

Highlights of the episodes I have watched:

• An old lady with a baseball bat going after two men that are trying to get her son. Wow. Not one of these three individuals was making any sense.
• A man set fire to his friend’s garage while working on his car. It sounds innocent enough, but the man then went into some sort of a freak out, that made mine nervous breakdown on Friday look like nothing! He hit his head against a lawn chair over and over while saying “asinine” repeatedly.
• Some guy had been cut really bad in the hand in a fight, but was actually not in trouble himself, would not let the paramedics help him. He ran around and fought them with blood going everywhere. They finally cuffed him and shoved him in the stretcher…I swear, it took about 5 guys.
• They found a house they called a “huffing house” that had over 30 paint cans, paint thinner…etc…laying around. There was a guy face down on the floor and the cops couldn’t take the smell. One day, I believe they will find me in a pile of dry erase markers….
• This was perhaps my favorite…there was a naked woman that they wanted her to put her clothes on, but she wouldn’t go get them from the other room. Some cop came across the room with her bra on the end of his night stick…and he was still holding it out like he could have gotten a disease. I was still laughing about that the next day.

So there, now everyone knows why I am so tired at work all day. I must stop this madness and go to bed like a normal person. I also must go see the Reno 911 movie.

finally....

It took me more than awhile to get around to discussing my vacation. Although there are many highlights including Midnight Chocolate Buffet's, falling asleep during a comedian, and trudging through pouring rain to see the Panda's. All in all, it was good times.

Before:









After:

My two favorite things

Thank you to the makers of Dayquil and Cherry KitKats for getting me through this day.

And why can't you make the Cherry KitKats year round? Why only at Valentines Day?

What about DayQuil flavored KitKats? I could get behind that product.

why i hate crispy creme donuts...

Today at work, one of my co-workers had an unfortunate lunch time run-in with a person she had been seeing, but he had mysteriously disappeared. It was traumatic for her…and probably one of the more painful run-in’s of its type. Although I can admit I have been lucky enough to avoid a mess like this, it did get me thinking about those inevitable moments of our lives where we run into someone we would much rather go the rest of our lives never seeing again.

I was attending my classes at the U and had been “involved” with this guy that was in one of my classes. Semester had ended, which incidentally coincided with our “involvement” ending, and I was taking new classes and hadn’t had to see him for some time. I was in a class on World Poverty, and for some reason, we thought that since it was a pretty small class, and in the evening, we would take turns bringing treats to class. So, as we talked about how many people in the world survive off of less than $1.00 a day, we nibbled on all assortments of goodies.

Okay – so, one fateful evening, I am walking towards my classroom carrying two dozen Crispy Crème donuts – and surprise, surprise! So, this is the moment he has to see…. We exchanged a few pleasantries, such as “How are you?” (ie…You are an ass!) and “How is school?” (ie…Do you still have zero ambition?” While these pleasantries are going on, all I can think is, “WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE TWO DOZEN DONUTS IN MY HANDS RIGHT NOW?” AND “GREAT…NOW HE THINKS LOSING OUT ON HIM DROVE ME TO THE DONUTS!”

Mortifying. It was completely mortifying. It was one of those moments that you think about trying to fall asleep that night, and all you can do is shudder…and wish for death. You have to give yourself the talk about how this really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life, and thankfully it turned out to be true. Although, thinking about this right now, I still shudder just a little bit!

minivan mayhem

Due to an incident a few weeks back involving a parking lot and some ice, my little Sentra is in the body shop. My insurance company does provide a rental car, and I somehow got this sweet ride of a Mini Van. I have been driving this monster around all week, struggling to park and loving every minute of it for this simple and sad reason. It has a CD player and a TAPE DECK!

There were three tapes I remember from the 5th to 6th grade time range in my life that I just could not get enough of:

Tears for Fear (the Infamous tale of this tape still lives in Baldwin folklore, and would need its own entry!)
Culture Club
The Jets

Well, at this time, only the The Jets is available to me, I somehow uncovered it when I moved last June. I cannot even believe how strange it is that every single cheesy lyric has come right back to me. It is like no time has passed at all. Driving around in that Mini Van, singing my heart out to this tape just takes me right back to 6th grade. Like it was yesterday my parents took Teri and I to the State Fair to hear them play live, and I was bitter for a few hours because she caught one of their guitar picks and I didn’t! Those were simpler times and life was really, really good. Dark times were ahead, but I didn’t even know it at the time!

At any rate, my week of cruising around in a Soccer Moms dream is over, and the Van is going back tonight. I won’t miss parking it one bit, but I will miss the revisit to 6th grade!

get loud, be proud....have a mint!

Tonight the Jazz beat the Timberwolves while Matt and I beat the mint record. New record: 16!!

This is an obscene amount of mints. I know this, and have decided that the record will stand here, and the madness will stop.

We have been able to share the minty goodness around town. We gave out mints at a funeral, at church, and the latest batch will go along with someone's birthday present. So, it clearly has not been a waste.

christmas is officially over...

So, on Saturday, the 5th of January...that lovely furry creature I share my home with decided that it was too late in the year for me to still have my Christmas tree up, and did what he had been threatening to do all season. That's right. It started with him standing on his hind feet, and batting at an ornament....nothing I hadn't seen every day. Then, he made one quick leap up into the tree, and the next thing he knew he was crawling out from under it. After that, all ornaments were fair game, and easily accessible to his greedy and hurtful paws.

So...that is what it feels like!

Up until tonight, the Jazz have never lost a home game that I attended. I was on a really good streak, they had lost two games, but I had mysteriously not been there those nights.

Tonight that all ended. I finally got to feel what it felt like to walk away in shame...no mint, no promise of a free Big Mac. Nothing. Just Derek Fisher telling us to drive home safely on the jumbo tron. Which, by the way, I think happens every night, it is just that people are usually cheering enough that I haven't heard it.

At least it was the Mavericks that dealt the blow. I am actually a huge Nowitzki fan, and I am not ashamed to admit it! However, I was probably the only one that felt that way. That was one rabid, angry crowd. At the end, one guy, who felt he was a spokesman or the entire state of Utah, so eloquently summed up what the majority of the crowd was feeling by yelling, "Enjoy the gift Nowitzki....you piece of shit!"

Mint record still stands at 14.